Just one of those days ..

Blog dead ?
Yea , practically

You know I don't really wanna blog about this
But somehow I gotta do,
gotta face it
gotta accept it
gotta get over it



SPM Results was out last wed
Firstly congrats to all my buddies and everyone that did well =)
Sadly I didn't get straight A's
not even close my god ..
I settle for 7A's which to me - it's rather bad ? sad ? disappointing ?
why you asked ?
Just look at my records in school , you'll understand
and the effort of studying so so so so much
burning all the midnight oils till early morning ....
The disappointment when all the efforts didn't pay off
I think if you're close to me, you should know how much I study right ?
Before school starts, during the boring assembly, recess, late nights ...




And the moment I got the results - I was shock - didn't know what to react
Was it a mistake ? printing error perhaps ?
Then later I gotta inform my family members who were waiting for my results
Telling u , to call my parents and msg-ing my brothers
Tears start poring down , within seconds my phonescreen was wet with tears
Didn't wanna cry infront of the crowd but I couldn't control it
And my gfs were there hugging me , telling me it's ok




When I drove back home , I didn't know how to go back in the house
I just park outside and cried real real badly in my car
And I put the max air-cond to dry up my face
so that my parents won't know I cried
But obviously plan failed, When I saw my mum at the door -
I just broke down crying real badly
And I couldnt control it , cause I felt I disappointed my parents
Disappointed myself ...
My mum just let me cry on her shoulders telling me it's alright
Even my dad told me it's ok .. just SPM . Results it CAT-ACCA is more important
And they were happy with my results to my surprise
Cause I got B's for the stupid subjects lol (stupid EST ! Stupid Moral !)
And they were happy cause I scored A1's in my core subjects


(I'm actually crying while typing this , bah)


And later I tried to get myself better in shape
but i kept on crying looking at the results
I wanted to burn that slip away !!!!



and there were so many people asking for my results
I was practically crying when I picked up the call ,msg-ing back
You know when your brother calls back to check on you,
(the brother that always prank u , bully u suddenly starts to care so much)
dammit you should know how bad shape I am in !



By now you should start scolding me right ?
a lot of people were like "7 A not enough ah ? " "6 A1 somemore ... " "want me to slap u is it ?"
Basically I couldn't face it cause I put my heart and effort on it
My forecast and results in school has always been well done
My parents were so worried cause I couldn't stop crying lol
Not I wanna cry ok , it's just the deep emotions of disappointment



And thank you to my friends and family for all the care and love
the calls , the msgs
I tell u the next day my message inbox were like 300 messages
I was like "are they msg cause they scard I'm gonna do suicide or something ?}
I was laughing at that and my mum was like
"cause the way you acted yesterday - you were falling so apart"
The moment I went college, so many hugs =)
Cause my eyes were so red - it was so obvious I cried the entire day
Everybody was trying to make me smile .. thank you from the bottom of my heart



And my aunt send me this little quote
"Today's thorn will be tomorrow's flower"



Now I won't say I'm 100% ok
Still sad about it but I think I'm doing well .. i Hope =P
Now I just think at the positive side
A1 for physics , add maths , history, accounts (those are big achievements already)
I can't really recall my results now . I just remember I got 3B for BM,EST & Moral
And the beautiful thing is my BM & Moral has always been A1 ;p



Now I'm just focusing on my course
I have progress test next friday
And I'm looking forward to that.

Bah, now my scholarship is only worth RM 2000
That's like (RM 6000 + difference if I scored straight A's)
Ok , I think I'm kiasu enough XD

And the song that really helped was Mary J.Blige - No more Drama
Pretty good song for this kind of days u know ..

And I'll take everything,
In this life,
I'll join everyone
When I die
Here I swear
Forever is just a minute to me

SY is listening to : Slink ft James Blunt - Je Realise

P/s : I don't dare to come online cause my lecturer is online. lol

Signing out,
SY,
study 0--0
No more tears, no more drama
Now I need to study costing & management ! (sarcastic : that helped !)